Alarming News: I like Morgan Freeberg. A lot.
American Digest: And I like this from "The Blog That Nobody Reads", because it is -- mostly -- about me. What can I say? I'm on an ego trip today. It won't last.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: We were following a trackback and thinking "hmmm... this is a bloody excellent post!", and then we realized that it was just part III of, well, three...Damn. I wish I'd written those.
Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler: ...I just remembered that I found a new blog a short while ago, House of Eratosthenes, that I really like. I like his common sense approach and his curiosity when it comes to why people believe what they believe rather than just what they believe.
Brutally Honest: Morgan Freeberg is brilliant.
Dr. Melissa Clouthier: Morgan Freeberg at House of Eratosthenes (pftthats a mouthful) honors big boned women in skimpy clothing. The picture there is priceless--keep scrolling down.
Exile in Portales: Via Gerard: Morgan Freeberg, a guy with a lot to say. And he speaks The Truth...and it's fascinating stuff. Worth a read, or three. Or six.
Just Muttering: Two nice pieces at House of Eratosthenes, one about a perhaps unintended effect of the Enron mess, and one on the Gore-y environ-movie.
Mein Blogovault: Make "the Blog that No One Reads" one of your daily reads.
The Virginian: I know this post will offend some people, but the author makes some good points.
Poetic Justice: Cletus! Ah gots a laiv one fer yew...
Even though it’s just a cursory Google hit, I’m a little surprised it’s only bringing back one result. The joke is so old, the first time I heard it I laughed so hard I kicked the slat out of my crib, y’know?
One day Superman was feeling a bit horny. So, he began to ask his superhero friends for ideas on where he could get a bit of action. “Hey Batman! Who’s good in the sack?”
“Well Superman, everyone knows that Wonderwoman is the best sex in comicland. Why don’t you try her?”, replied Batman.
“I’d love to, but Wonder Woman and I are friends. So I don’t really want to take advantage of her.”
“Darn shame,” said Batman as he waved goodbye to Superman and drove off.
Ten minutes later Superman was flying low over a city when he saw the Green Lantern patching up a building. He flew down. “Hey G.L., I’m looking for a little action. You’re a swinging bachelor, who’s the best babe in comicland?”
“Hey, Superman! Everyone knows that Wonderwoman is far and away the best lay in comicland, why don’t you try her?”
“Well, we’re sort of friends,” Superman said, “but I didn’t realize she had gotten around so much” and he flew off in frustration.
Twenty minutes later he was flying over a field when he saw Wonderwoman lying naked, in the middle of the field, with her legs apart and up in the air.
Superman was tempted. ” MAN !!!” he thought to himself, “I’m faster than a speeding bullet, I can be in and out of there before she even knows I’m here.” So with a blur and a sonic boom he was down, in and gone.
Wonderwoman stared up into the sky with a dazed expression. “What the hell was that??” she exclaimed.
“I don’t know,” said the Invisible Man as he rolled off, “But my ass is killing me.”
I bring this vulgarity up for one reason and one reason alone: It’s not the reference to Superman. It’s the one line from that filthy slut Wonder Woman. Note the two question marks. Note the phraseology: Not “what was that,” but “what THE HELL was that.” This, friends, aptly sums up the nationwide critical response to Superman IV: The Quest For Peace.
Uh, unless you actually paid money to see it in a real theater. And then I think the Invisible Man’s reaction is more apropos.
Whatever. Good movies, bad movies, I’ve always had a soft spot for the Man of Steel. To me, he defines the distinction between DC Comics and Marvel…both of which have long ago been thoroughly infested with left-wing, Gorbachev-lovin’ granola-eating liberals. There are differences you know — Marvel, no matter what the day of the week, no matter what side of the bed the sunbeams hit first…Marvel would never, never, never ever ever, create a superhero like Superman.
Think about it. Does Superman have problems with his public image? Very rarely…and when he does, how much does he worry about it? His public reception, very simply, is not part of the story. He’s even got a Fortress of Solitude to mope around in if he chooses to. Now, put yourself in his boots. If you wanted to slink off, and go ’round all day every day muttering “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, guess I’ll eat some worms” the F.o.S. is a kick-ass place to do it. And it’s his, and his alone. But does he do this? NO. There’s a danger, or else there isn’t…and if there isn’t, he’s going to be Clark Kent and type away at two thousand words a minute or something. Maybe pay a visit to Ma. If there is…there are planets to be thrown around. Either way, the angst over public image can wait. It goes to the bottom of the Super-inbox.
Uh, that’s not true of Spiderman. Not by a damn sight.
Another thing, Superman is just plain good. According to Marvel Comics doctrine, that dooms his stories to stale flatness; good guys must have something evil about them, and bad guys must have a strain of good, otherwise things get boring. But Superman stories aren’t boring. Not really…he has some Superstinkers here and there. Who doesn’t. Are there no rotten eggs from the X-Men? No sludge from the Fantastic Four? No installments that Daredevil would just as soon wish hadn’t happened? I rest my case.
Irony has its place. There are many among us however, who seem to be in a great big ol’ hurry to embrace irony where matters of good and evil are concerned. Like…we want to pretend it’s there to spice up a story, but the truth of it is we’re cowards. Some of us. Clarity where some people are in the right and others are in the wrong…can be frightening Some of us can’t handle it. It’s like a cross to Dracula.
And so Superman scares some people. Based on what I’ve seen in Marvel comic books, the whole entity seems dedicated to serving people who are so frightened…want some shades of gray with everything, no matter what the circumstances. Because it’s like a security blanket for them.
Anyway.
Back to the subject at hand.
I have been intrigued ever since I saw this review by Moriarty at Ain’t It Cool News.
About That “Richard Donner Cut” Of SUPERMAN II…
:
For non-fans, the question that no doubt comes to mind immediately is “But why do we need an alternate cut of SUPERMAN II in the first place? Wasn’t that one of the good ones?”Indeed it was. But thanks to the Salkinds, it wasn’t the film that it was originally supposed to be. Basically, SUPERMAN and SUPERMAN II were supposed to be made as one long film at the same time, then cut in half and released as separate films. Donner shot about 75% of the second film before he and the Salkinds hit a creative wall with each other, and he left the project. He ended up finishing the first film, and then they hired Richard Lester to come in and work to shape Donner’s footage into SUPERMAN II and to shoot whatever they had to in order to make it a finished film. That’s the short version of the story, but I’m sure you can find a dozen more detailed accounts if you do a quick Google search.
Okay, now you know the background. My order should be here Thursday at the latest, and I’m thrilled. It’s a whole lot of bang for the buck, for one thing — all the Superman stuff ever to hit the big screen, back to the first Christopher Reeve movie where he makes the world spin backwards. Fourteen discs, with good movies, awful movies, that brand-new one, this long-buried “Donner Cut” and a bunch of other related stuff.
Did you know you can get this for just north of seventy bucks now?
Great Caesar’s Ghost.
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.
[…] read more… […]
- Jokes Blog Search » Blog Archive » The Donner Cut | 01/29/2007 @ 23:10