House of Eratosthenes

Buck doesn’t like coming to our pages and finding grim depressing stuff; I guess for him it’s all hockey stuff, something else cheery, or nuthin’. Well, in our book when you see some dumbass putting square wheels on a shopping cart, you take the time to tell him things aren’t gonna work, right? And the shopping cart of the U.S. of A. is being fit for square wheels, make no mistake about it.

But we do recognize the benefits of balance. And this Onion piece that apparently seeks to poke some fun at the former Governor, tickled our funny bone. But that’s a little complicated in itself, as we’ll explain below:

“This Tea Party movement just goes to show ya that America is ready for another revolution,” Palin said as things long ago divined came finally to pass. “Who do you think is gonna stand up for the freedoms promised by our Founding Fathers? Folks like us, or some socialist professor of constitutional law in the Oval Office?”

It was then, witnesses claim, that there was a tearing of the heavens, and the skies receded as does a scroll when it is rolled up, and anecdotes about everyday middle-class Alaskan families were enunciated in down-to-earth tones.

“That’s right, partner,” Palin said, as every mountain and island moved from its place, and flames overtook the lakes and the rivers and the seas. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

What does intent matter?

The outcome is, both sides are ridiculed; Palin fans, and Palin bashers. With much of the unintended comedy aimed squarely at the bashers.

Palin giving a speech, after all, doesn’t have much to do with End Times. By Onion standards, the satire is a little clumsy. What’s the point? She’s such a mental klutz that we should expect the dead to rise out of their graves the first time she forms a complete sentence? No, if I’m looking for a recent event to portend the Apocalypse, my mind would go back to Holy One’s (broken) promise to close down Guantanamo. Or the Beer Summit. Something like that.

Government’s broke. I don’t mean just the feds. I’m referring to all the states as well. Here in mine, we have “furlough Fridays.” Every Friday morning like clockwork, our airhead traffic report radio people flock to the airwaves to gladden our hearts that the roads are going to be nice and clear, without those bothersome state workers sharing them with us.

Get the picture? We’re paying taxes…all 51 governments are moving in the direction of — no services. Not that productive people tend to be in demand of such services in the first place. But we’re moving rapidly in the direction of just dropping the pretenses. We pay our taxes, and it just goes to people who are friends of the politicians who go through the motions of providing “services” to us.

Palin gives speeches pointing out that you know, maybe this isn’t the best way for things to work.

And the Obama apologists, and Palin-bashers, work up a hysterical lather just as well as any loco barnyard animal ever did. Acting like…yeah…the world’s coming to an end.

Poking fun at anything and everything. Just hoping the topic of conversation, for God’s sake, will somehow change.

We have Health Care II. We have Son of Stimulus. Huh. I suppose the world is gonna end if we don’t pass those.

“Drop The Pretenses Day” can’t arrive soon enough, in my book. I’ll open the seals of the Great Book myself. Just stop pretending you’re trying to help people, using stem cell research to cure polio victims, giving burn therapy to orphans, “creating or saving” jobs, blah blah blah. Just take our money, give it to your friends who aren’t any better at securing a productive and honest livelihood than you are — right out in broad daylight — and start counting down with us to the inevitable revolution.

That way, you’re not insulting our intelligence anymore. And frankly, this business of “Boy Sarah Palin’s Stupid, Who’s With Me?” hoping the subject will change whenever you find it convenient for the subject to change, is as insulting as anything. Just because some folks fall for it, doesn’t mean everyone does.

Update: This is more like it.

We’re paying taxes…all 51 governments are moving in the direction of — no services. Not that productive people tend to be in demand of such services in the first place.

I probably wouldn’t mind paying the amount of tax I do right now if I saw that all the money was going to the military and/or weapons research programs. If the United States were fighting an honest-to-goodness major war with about four different countries, and all that money was needed in order to pay soldiers, buy ammunition, refuel fighter jets, keep the carrier groups supplied, etc etc.

Instead it goes to buy the votes of people who disagree with me and with my values, to socialize entire sectors of the US economy, and to brainwash our kids though countless “educational” programs, as well as buy crack for welfare moms.
- cylarz | 02/25/2010 @ 00:20
I guess for him it’s all hockey stuff, something else cheery, or nuthin’.

Not entirely true even though we’re certainly obsessed with hockey at the moment, being as how some of the best hockey ever played on the planet is goin’ down in Vancouver right now.

But back to your point: My issue with the Right at the moment is the lack of positive ideas and commentary. Ya gotta admit, Morgan, pretty much EVERY damned blog or pundit on the right is immersed in Perpetual Outrage… a turn of events I thought I’d never see, given as how that’s the way the Left acted for eight years straight. And you know how we laughed at them for that dumb-ass posturing. Yet here we are. Don’t you ever get tired of this shtick?

About which… read you some Gingrich. Lately he’s been going off on a “stay positive” jag, and I agree with him wholeheartedly on this (and other) point(s). I’d say more, but the Finnish and Swedish women just went into sudden death OT in the bronze medal game. Which is much better than Faux Outrage.
- bpenni | 02/25/2010 @ 14:15
Well Dang! The Finns just won, and here I was typing away on a frickin’ BLOG. There’s always replays, Thank The Deity At Hand. 🙂
- bpenni | 02/25/2010 @ 14:16
My issue with the Right at the moment is the lack of positive ideas and commentary. Ya gotta admit, Morgan, pretty much EVERY damned blog or pundit on the right is immersed in Perpetual Outrage…

I don’t. I reject it as the double-standard it is.

Go on, take a look at these “positive ideas and commentary” being presented by the other side. Take a good hard look at the left being “positive.” What’s the common theme? Capitalism has failed…we can’t rely on each other…people are too stupid. Get in their faces and MAKE them say something positive about America, and they’ll come up with a few back-handed compliments; each and every single one has to do with what they want to change America into. Not what she really is. Sure, they show optimism when there are setbacks, I guess that’s “positive.” But not much effort involved in that, is there? They’re spending YOUR money. Not theirs. How hard is it to be positive?

Similarly, with conservatives being negative: I reject that. It isn’t negative to remind people what is at stake. Liberals do that all day long all week long — “The World Is Gonna End If We Don’t Pass Cap And Trade!” Somehow, that’s not negative. I do exactly the same thing with regard to the American spirit being abandoned, just to remind people that’s what they’re thinking of doing. And you say that’s negative. But I’m not doing anything the environment-apocalypse-doom-n-gloomers aren’t doing.

This, in my book, is why we have to tolerate mental midgets running things every four years out of twelve. This is why, when people realize Obama’s lying to them, they still want to vote for Him…but Palin writes something on the palm of her hand, and oh my goodness, stick a fork in her, there’s no way I can ever support her. It’s completely out of the question. I’ll just support that Chicago thug socialist guy who I know is lying to me. He’s just so full of “hope.”
- mkfreeberg | 02/25/2010 @ 19:01
Spot on, Morgan. If we didn’t think that the nation was worth saving and that it had or could have a bright future ahead of it, we wouldn’t bother to sound alarm bells in the first place.

Consider the contrast:

The Right: A good country, getting better. Reform is needed here, here, and here.
The Left: An evil country, controlled by powerful corporations and special interests! All is doom unless a radical agenda is enacted immediately, which by design includes a huge power grab for the federal government at the expense of everyone else!

This illustrates an interesting divide between the two ends of the political spectrum. One loves the nation for what it is, and most of the ideas for improvement involve rolling back federal power and incrementally restoring the spirit of what made the country great in the first place.

The other despises the nation as it is, never seems to be satisfied with any amount of reform, and has a vision of fundamentally transforming the nation into something completely unrecognizable. Further, a crisis of some kind is always the vehicle of choice, and the destination is always more government and higher taxes.

“You criticize what you love” the Left intones. Uh huh. Yeah, the way an abusive husband “loves” his wife.
- cylarz | 02/26/2010 @ 01:37

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Palin Speech Opens Sixth SealWednesday, February 24th, 2010

Palin Speech Opens Sixth Seal
Wednesday, February 24th, 2010