House of Eratosthenes

Late on this past Sunday, the liberals began dragging us kicking-and-screaming into their vision of what life is all about. You know the drill: No independence, no innovation, no capitalism, very little local authority, no real sense of the individual delivering goods and services in order to secure an uncontestable right to property.

Board this, committee that, and every li’l blessed thing in this rough patch of grass we call “real life” that doesn’t have an iron-and-silver clad guarantee with regard to the outcome, must be a piece of unfinished business.

All security. All safety. All sanitization.

No Opportunity. No liberty, no freedom, no ambition, no dreams…unless you’re a liberal activist or a politician.

Conservatives are evenly divided between “cry” and “fight.” (Some say both.) Liberals are all cheery and gloating. I would expect to see all of this. And of all the things I’d expect to see, there isn’t a single thing missing.

Except one thing.

And this post is all wrapped up in that one thing. I’ve learned something this week about the difference between liberals, and decent people like me. This missing thing is inextricably connected to that difference.

See, the liberals are not behaving in a way consistent with the way I’d behave if…well…let’s get down to brass tacks, here. Unless you’ve had your head stuck someplace in deep isolation for a sustained period of time, you know this health care bill is deeply unpopular and it isn’t just unpopular with Republicans. Fact is, even if you’re a left-winger you probably still don’t like it that much…unless you’re liberal clear down to the marrow of your bones. In which case you might be in the Noam Chomsky Michael Moore camp, all pissing and moaning that it doesn’t go far enough.

But this piece of legislation, wonderful as it may be to the stalwart liberal mind, is not quite in perfect harmony with the American mindset. And I’m not talking about 1776, I’m talking about right here and now.

Now then. What comes next takes a little bit of mental effort. But it’s effort expended on my part, not on yours, so hang awhile. It also calls for something of a confession. You see, here and there are some issues — you might find this tough to believe — on which my opinion doesn’t quite fall into line with the majority. It will perhaps not surprise you too much to learn that on this issues, I regard myself as being right and “most” people as being wrong.

Just like our liberals do with regard to this piece of legislation.

The smarties have probably already figured out where I’m going with this.

Let us say it’s my lucky day and our Congress is settling down to do things the Morgan way. The House passes a resolution…lessee…it says that men and women are different, and that’s perfectly alright.

Most people wouldn’t agree with a resolution like that. I would, and furthermore I’ll say this country would be a lot better off if everyone unanimously agreed with me.

Guaranteed immunity for parents caught whacking their kids’ butts in public. Even the girls.

Jail time for the scam artists who tried to sell us on their global warming Kool-Aid. I’m talking double-digits, breaking rocks.

When we execute murderers, we aren’t molesting the Eighth Amendment unless we’re being more cruel to the convict than he was to his victims. Up until that point, it’s all good. Unfortnately, American law does not recognize this as a matter for the legislative branch…but still.

You have to speak English in order to vote.

The punishment for leaving your gum on a sidewalk, parking lot or bus seat, is that when we track you down with the gum you have to put it back in your cakehole and start chewing it again.

You can eat saturated fat.

No minimum wage. If your employer wants to pay your a buck fifty-five an hour and you want to work for that, good for you.

No minimum age either. If you’re thirteen you can work forty hours. Make it fifty or sixty, as long as you don’t miss school. This isn’t a Dickens story for cryin’ out loud.

Teachers are paid according to how many of the students they pass on to the next grade, are capable of showing competence in that grade.

If you’re on unemployment for more than thirty days, you can’t have a teevee.

Oh my goodness, I do believe I could add on to this list all day long.

Now what do these things all have in common. I’ll tell you. If we were to decide to do them, I’d agree with them…most people would not. To put it more plainly, I think they are good ideas. I am in the minority in thinking they are good ideas. I’m fully well aware I’m in the minority on thinking they’re good ideas. And I honestly cannot tell you why. Yeah, I could play Devil’s Advocate on these things, but I wouldn’t do a terribly good job of it.

If by some miracle one or two of them were to pass…I’d be all smiley about it, but there’d be truckloads of anger about it from sea to shining sea. Darn that Morgan! What a stupid law he got going here.

Just like you’re hearing right now. About democrats.

Thing is, if & when the time came for me to comment on the matter — you would be hearing, from Yours Truly, on a regular basis, some genuine bewilderment. Why do most people disagree with me about it being a good thing men can put swimsuit calendars up on their cubicle walls at work? Who are these people who think Hooter’s should be allowed, or required, to hire ugly fat women?

And when you shake your finger in my face and intone — quite rightly — that I might’ve gotten this one thing I want, but I’d better savor the victory as long as I can because it cost me more political capital than I’ve got. I wouldn’t just leave that statement lying there. I would show some real, heartfelt outrage about it. It’s that big of a compromise? That much of an earth-shattering notion that stupid kids should be held back a grade? That they should be allowed to do something in their off hours that doesn’t have to do with texting or gaming?

I’d be more flustered in victory than I would be in defeat.

Now back to reality. I am not the guy who just managed to get his way here, oh heavens no. We all know that.

What we see here, is a rare and precious glimpse into the diseased rotted wrinkles of the progressive mind. They are so naturally aclimated to this whole routine of dragging the rest of us, kicking and screaming, into whatever Utopia they have in mind on any given day.

All I see from them, for three days now, is the same ol’ same ol’. YOU’RE A RACIST IF YOU DISAGREE WITH BARACK OBAMA, yeah, yeah. There are no lamentations about where the trolley of our modern society is coming off the track. I’ve even heard a few jokes from some of them about us rubes out here in the backwoods or the sticks — who somehow must like getting ripped off by the insurance companies and left without any money. Where’s the sense of wonder about that? Where’s the drive to know more? It’s just a drive-by snarky quip, and mission-accomplished. On to the next topic.

As far as the situation involving all these people, this undeniable majority, disagreeing with them — somehow, that’s just to be expected.

That’s just not natural. Among people who are so all-fired sure that their way is the right way, it’s even less natural.

It’s as if, if their worldview on any particular topic isn’t sufficiently strange…if it has a little too much to do with common sense…if it’s too appealing to an intelligent mind that has taken the time and trouble to look at both sides…they’re sure to become bored with it.

The problem with your Imperial Decrees is not that they’re wrong or terrible, but that there’s isn’t a clear underpinning of principle, they’re simply “things that Morgan doesn’t like”. With respect, the television thing is stupid. Why? Not because unemployed people should be lazing around watching TV, hell no. But because there’s a million other things they could be using as an excuse to fuck off in stead of looking to be productive. Besides, if I’m unemployed but provident about it (Perhaps I already paid for my house and cable through the next year before I got laid off) then it’s not even a matter that would be helpful in any way.

No, this is the same problem that most people have- it’s confusing symptoms with principles. Yes, people should have healthcare. Lack of access to healthcare is a symptom of a less-than-ideal society. However, the principle isn’t that people should be given healthcare. The underlying principle is that healthy, wealthy, and wise societies allow the individual to make their own choices about healthcare, do not prevent people from seeking that which is in their best interest (including healthcare in any form including holistic placebos and chanting charms over a candle should they so choose), and do not stand in the way of those individuals ethically gathering the wherewithal to pay for their choices.

It’s a lot harder to discern eternal, universal principles than to rant about things one doesn’t like.

I mean, Emperor Morgan the First probably wouldn’t do worse than communists, but probably wouldn’t do much better either. Morgan the Second or Third would almost certainly be a much-hated and ineffectual tyrant; it’s the way things work out from history.
- thebastidge | 03/23/2010 @ 19:25
I would simply decree that if you are the recipient of public money, you may not vote. Period. Doesn’t matter if it’s “earned income tax credit” or food stamps or social security or “cash for clunkers” or whatever. You may not be both a recipient of public money and participate in determining how much and to whom.
- Jason | 03/23/2010 @ 20:50
…and that includes being employed by the gub’mint.
- Jason | 03/23/2010 @ 20:51
Jason,

What about the armed services?
- pdwalker | 03/23/2010 @ 22:31
With respect, the television thing is stupid. Why? (Followed by a whole bunch of rational explanations as to why it is stupid…)

Well then I see I chose my issues well. These are things where a) I want things one way, b) a majority among us would disagree, and yet c) I’d be genuinely incredulous about why the majority isn’t going my way. There are a whole bunch of other items on which I want things a certain way, and the majority agrees. I don’t want taxpayers funding abortions, I think the Ten Commandments in a courthouse are just fine, I think the 2nd and 10th amendments are just as relevant for our times as any of the others.

The point isn’t WHAT my positions are on these things. The point is, under the scenario described above, I wouldn’t be standing over everyone with this crocodile smile on my face droning on about how “The CBO says after a few years of this, we’re going to save money…” The point is having convictions about things. The convictions would persuade me to behave just like any other opinionated human who’s outnumbered but isn’t willing to let it go: “What the fuck is the MATTER with you people??” True exasperation. Winner’s exasperation; Emperor’s exasperation, if you prefer. This is what we should be seeing from them right now.

They’re so sure that our country is overdue for a public health care plan. And yet their little red Obama books don’t seem to say a single word about dissenting viewpoints other than the tired ol’ “Anyone who disagrees with Dear Leader must be a white supremacist.” The convictions; they’re a-missing. It’s quite bizarre. That’s the point.
- mkfreeberg | 03/23/2010 @ 23:13
Ummm… yeah, Jason… what about the military? And what about us suckers who paid into social security for well over 40 years? Are we not entitled to get our frickin’ money back?
- bpenni | 03/24/2010 @ 00:02
bpenni,

Social security is a scam, it’s bust. There is no money. Congress has stolen it and pissed it away over the last 40 years. It’s just really been an “extra” tax that has not been called a tax.

(so do will the new “health care” payments you will be needing to make in your future if the legislation takes hold)
- pdwalker | 03/24/2010 @ 00:25
Lack of access to healthcare is a symptom of a less-than-ideal society.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ I’m getting sick of hearing people parrot this gibberish. I resolutely defy anyone to produce one single solitary instance of a human being “denied healthcare” in the US for any reason whatsoever at all in any circumstance.

I had insurance for maybe 10 years out of my life in total. Any time I needed a doctor, which were damned few on accounta I fixed it myself, nobody ever blinked when I told ’em I was gonna pay for it out of my own pocket. Sometimes paying it off took a long time. So? Saying anybody has the “right” to free medical service is precisely saying they have the “right” to spend their fucking money on new cars and teevy sets instead.

If you can’t do any better than this mealy-mouthed horseshit about the poor victims of the system, kindly shut the fuck up and let the adults converse.
- rob | 03/24/2010 @ 21:19
bpenni,

Good point–the military should be excepted. Not social security recipients. Yeah, you’ve “paid in” your whole life but your benefits will far exceed your payments. However, I’d be happy to put this on the table in exchange for privatization.
- Jason | 03/24/2010 @ 21:23
Not social security recipients. Yeah, you’ve “paid in” your whole life but your benefits will far exceed your payments

Hey, kid, I’m on Social Security too. There is no way I will ever recoup the amount I have paid into the system in the form of SocSec “contributions,” in addition to the taxes I’ve paid for the last 50 years for other peoples’ entitlements like public schools (yours,) public television, NEA grants, unpaid school loans andonandonandon.

I sure don’t like it that I can’t work, but I’m Goddamned sure any “benefits” I get from Social Security I’ve earned a hundred times over. I got news for you: you’re gonna get old too, if you’re tough and smart enough. Advocating for cutting off Social Security is the precise equivalent of Death Panels, and being young doesn’t excuse you from responsibility to your elders, just like we’ve been responsible to you. Being “educated” in public schools is no excuse.
- rob | 03/24/2010 @ 22:41
Rob, when I was in college, I came up with a list of some reforms I suggested the country was in dire need of, and one of them concerned Social Security. Tell me what you think of MY proposal.

1) Anyone currently receiving SS payments continues to do so with no changes.
2) This, however, is the last year that anyone is allowed to begin receiving them who wasn’t before. No additional retirees allowed.
3) Everyone covered in category 2) above has a calculation run – the government tallies up the sum total of what he’s paid into the system over his lifetime. A correction is made for inflation, and then the government cuts each of those persons a check. The money comes out of the General Fund, which is fair since SS surpluses went into the General Fund for decades.
4) When the last person currently receiving SS has died, the program ceases to exist altogether, and the associated payroll deduction is also terminated.
- cylarz | 03/25/2010 @ 02:33

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Recent

Items of Interest

Monthly Archives

What They Say

Links

Memo For File CXTuesday, March 23rd, 2010

Memo For File CX
Tuesday, March 23rd, 2010