House of Eratosthenes

As much as I talk about “believing in science,” and “what science has shown us,” I’m not going to want you to be thinking about that when I issue my prognostications of imminent doom for the planet because scientific findings do not portend imminent doom for the planet. You know it and I know it.

I find it awful that Trump has withdrawn us from the climate change talks, and I will support candidates who pledge to reinsert us into those talks, because I know this is about a shift of power and money. I like the idea of pushing nations into a socialist economic model, I like the burdens and obligations that are being heaped upon developed nations and I like the perks and the exemptions and the benefits that are being directed to developing nations. I think developed nations are bad and developing nations are good. That’s because I think of developed nations as western evil rich white people and I think of developing nations as third-world good poor non-white people. I will not even pause to consider any real-life disruptions in these clean binary divisions, won’t think about spillage or overlap, you can’t bother me with your impure thoughts about good people living in developed nations or bad people living in developing nations. I like my cartoonish pigeonholing and my simple narratives. I apply emotional reasoning to everything, which is ironic given that I’m ready to mock you mercilessly if you so much as hesitate to accept the non-scientific prophesies of doom that I call “the science.”

I just don’t trust businesses. They impact the lives of others with their decisions, and I don’t know the names of these people so I’d rather have this “unchecked and unfettered capitalism” properly regulated, and checked by clipboard-carrying bossy people who’ve never produced anything in their entire lives…whose names I also don’t know. I think the former can do nothing right and the latter can do nothing wrong because, again, emotional reasoning.

This would be an honest sales pitch for climate change.

But no one would buy that…so we have to pretend the planet is in crisis.

I have every intention of forcing the sea levels to rise, by being cremated (upon my death) and reintroducing the water sequestered in my body back into the water cycle.
OTOH, No trees will be harvested, manufactured into a casket, treated with pollutant finishes, and immediately interred, with my gooey remains inside.
A #10 coffee can ought to do it.
No granite or marble will be harmed in the marking my existence.
(The existing bronze plaque on a boulder in the town square will have to do.)
(I’m pretty sure the local crematorium uses natural gas, and not a small boat set adrift with a log funeral pyre, to be ignited with a flaming arrow from the shore.)
- CaptDMO | 09/18/2019 @ 11:51
[…] This would be an honest sales pitch for climate change. But no one would buy that…so we have to pretend the planet is in crisis. […]
- Clipsapoppin’ | 09/19/2019 @ 07:30

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An Honest Sales Pitch for Climate ChangeWednesday, September 18th, 2019

An Honest Sales Pitch for Climate Change
Wednesday, September 18th, 2019